So there's a theory that we experience three types of love in our lifetime and only fall in love with three people, each for a specific reason. And the more I read about it, the more I think it might be true. Perhaps this is also because I've experienced a shift in the way I love myself - from my twenties to my thirties and now in my forties. I'd like to think it's because I'm evolving, but maybe it's just the way the Universe has pummeled me into letting resistance go as I age. Either way, I'm so here for it.
The First Type of Love
In diving into the three types of love we experience, I found that the first type stems pretty hard from our reptilian brain, which means it's idealistic, passionate, and the way love is "supposed" to be. Our partners feel like they're our favorite, so it feels like "true love." This one results in us growing apart because it usually happens when we're young. It teaches us that not every relationship lasts forever.
The Second Type of Love
The second type has us wrapped up in tumultuous feelings and stems from the paleomammalian brain, the part that controls our motivation, stored past memory, and emotions. It can be intense, jealous, and full of high-highs and low-lows. It can be the unhealthy, difficult one, which has us addicted to the storyline and often ends in betrayal. It teaches us what we do and don't want in a relationship.
The Third Type of Love
The third is the one that lasts, and the one we never see coming. It's where we no longer let the reptilian brain do most of the driving and allow the neomammalian brain to come through. This part of the brain rules language and reasoning, so this love feels easy. It just fits, and there's no pressure to be anything but ourselves. And while we're being accepted for who we are, it shakes us to the core because it is so unexpected. It teaches us that true love is possible and that we can feel completely safe and protected while immensely attracted to another human.